27 Dec 2011 Super Brother Sometimes, being a brother is better than than being a super hero.

26 Dec 2011 M&Ms Melt in Your Mouth, Not in Your Hands (Gideon spilled a 56 oz bag of M&Ms all over the floor. I asked him to clean them up, and left the room. I came back into the room about 15 minutes later to check on his progress). ME: Gideon, why is the inside of the bag all wet? GIDEON: So I can pick-up the M&Ms faster. ME: How does that help you pick up the M&Ms faster? GIDEON: My hands can't hold that much. ME: But why is the inside of the bag wet? GIDEON: Because it was taking to long to pick them all up with my hands. ME: But why is the inside of the bag wet? GIDEON: Because, my mouth can hold more than my hands! It took a few moments for the realization of what he did to sink in. If you visit us anytime soon, I'd recommend declining any M&Ms Gideon may offer you.

25 Dec 2011 Be Merry Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from our family to yours!

19 Dec 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (I bought Gideon, age 5, his first wallet at the Salvation Army store) ME: Gideon, look at what I bought you. GIDEON: Cool! ME: Neat, huh? GIDEON: Yea! Now I have a place to keep my credit cards! I guess we need to play those Dave Ramsey tapes a little louder next time.

14 Dec 2011 Santa Clause is Coming to Town! "Daddy! Is that Santa coming?" -- Gideon, Age 5, after hearing rain on the roof. It's been so long since we had rain, Santa was actually a more plausible explanation!

13 DEC 2011 Who's On First? We had a comedy routine going on at our house this morning. GIDEON: Daddy, what did you buy at the store? ME: Pears. GIDEON: A pair of what? ME: Not pairs. PEARS. GIDEON: Yea, but a pair of WHAT? ME: PEARS. (I hold up the pears) GIDEON: You bought a pair of pears? *SIGH* I think he wrote for Abbot and Costello in a former life.

Dec 2011 Happy Birthday Gideon celebrated his 5th birthday with a Ben Ten Cake and some indoor swimming. That kid know how to party!

Dec 2011 A Candle in the Wind Even though he has asthma, those candles didn't stand a chance against Gideon's mighty LUNG POWER.

DEC 2011 Sweet Smile Gideon shows off his "SWEET" 5-year-old smile.

09 Dec 2011 Naughty or Nice? (Some of you may remember Gideon put me on Santa's Bad List last year) GIDEON: Daddy, can I have a pen and paper? ME: Sure....Here you go. GIDEON: (Looks intense while he scribbles) Do you want to know what I'm doing? ME: Sure. GIDEON: I'm telling Santa you were a good boy this year. ME: (Happily) Really? GIDEON: No, not really! I'm telling him to put you on the Naughty List again! Something tells me I may never be on Santa's Good List again.

04 DEC 2011 Spelling Trouble (Amilia is practicing spelling) ME: Amilia, how do you spell college, like, "I'm not going to college so Daddy can buy a new sports car for himself with my college savings fund"? AMILIA: Uh........C-o-l-l-o-g-e KIM: Close. It's c-o-l-l-A-g-e And that, kids, is why you shouldn't let electrical engineers help you with spelling.

02 Dec 2011 LOTR (Watching LOTR with the kids) ME: Gideon, do you know the man who's Gandalf is also Magneto? GIDEON: No way! Really? ME: Yes, it's true. GIDEON: Wow! That's so cool! But what happens if someone wants to watch LOTR at the same time someone else is watching X-Men?

30 Nov 2011 My Precious! (Amilia and Gideon are going areound saying "My Precious" in a creepy voice, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to get them interested in one of my favorite books \ movies.) ME: Lord of the Rings is about these nice little people called Hobbits that like to sing and dance. GIDEON: Oh, like the Smurfs! ME: Yea, but there are also Elves that are really good with bow and arrows. GIDEON: Oh, like Archer Smurf! ME: Yea, but LOTR has a wizard name Gandalf. GIDEON: I think you mean, Gargamel, Daddy. ME: No, Gandalf....Gargamel is evil and Gandalf is good. But there is an evil wizard that chases the Hobbits. GIDEON: Yea, like in the Smurfts. ME: (Trying not to sound defeated) So, do you want to watch the movie with me sometime? GIDEON: Nah, I've already seen it. They just stole it from the Smurfs.

30 Nov 2011 My Angel Why do I need to watch the Victoria Secrets fashion show when I'm married to my own Angel?

29 Nov 2011 Clean-up in Asile 4! At work, I was wearing nice dress slack, a long sleeve dress shirt, and my ID badge. I walked into a building to work on a network issue when someone saw me, said how glad she was to see me, and then asked if I was the janitor there to clean up a spill they called about.

30 Nov 2011 Salvation Army Bell Ringers Everytime I pass a Salvation Army bell ringer, I'm tempted to offer him $20 to stop rining the bell until I've finished shopping and have left the area.

18 Nov 2011 Hoop Dreams My wife, Kim, played HS basketball and was proud that she setup this basketball goal that a neighbor gave us by herself. When I asked her if she saw anything wrong with how she said it up, she said, "No, it looks good to me!"

8 Nov 2011 You'll Break Your Neck! ME: Gideon, get off of there before you break your neck! GIDEON: (Still not getting down) What would happen if break my neck? ME: You wouldn't be able to walk GIDEON: (Still not getting down) But I'd still be able to play video games, right? He doesn't care if he's crippled as long as he can play video games. I'm glad he at least has his priorties right :-\

16 Nov 2011 Angel-versary Today is Ezri's 6th angel-versary. Words cannot describe the pain in our hearts. We will always miss and love you, Twinkles.

13 Nov 2011 Way In Danger GIDEON: Why was Jesus born in danger? ME: Huh? GIDEON: You know, the song says Jesus was, "Born Way in Danger." KIM: No, Gideon. It's AWAY in a MANGER. GIDEON: Huh? That makes no sense! What's a "manger?"

05 Nov 2011 Sniffles ME: Gideon, you've been sniffiling for 5 minutes. Do you need a tissue? GIDEON: No thanks Dada. I finally sniffled the boogers up!

31 Oct 2011 How to Train Your Dragon We had a blast at Prestoncrest's Trunk or Treat night. Amilia went as the girl from "How to Train Your Dragon" this year.

31 Oct 2011 Spiderman Gideon opted for a more traditional costume.

28 Oct 2011 Riddle Me This AMILIA: Daddy, what runs, but never walks? ME: Uhmmmm....A river? AMILIA: Right! Okay, since you got that one so easy, what walks, but never runs? ME: Uhmmmm... I don't know. That's a tough one. GIDEON: I know! I KNOW! AMILIA: OK, what's the answer? GIDEON: Daddy walks, but never runs!

29 Oct 2011 Catch, God! (Gideon has a helium filled balloon) GIDEON: Daddy, I'm going to let this balloon go so God can catch it and take it to heaven. AMILIA: That won't work, Gideon. GIDEON: It won't? AMLIA: Nope.....The balloon needs more helium to go that far. What would Gideon do without his big sister?

28 Oct 2011 Spiderman GIDEON: Daddy, do you like my Halloween costume? ME: Look! It's Spiderman! GIDEON: (Takes off his mask, leans close, and whispers in my ear) Look, Kid, I'm just an actor; I'm not really Spiderman.

27 Oct 2011 Turophile If a bad guy took my sister, my money, or my cheese, I'd beat him up! I had no idea Gideon was a turophile.

25 Oct 2011 Non-Turtles GIDEON: Daddy, are rats turtles? ME: Uh, no, rats are rats, and turtles are turtles. GIDEON: No, I mean are rats NON-turtles? ME: Yes, rats are non-turtles. GIDEON: What else are non-turtles? ME: Anything that's not a turtle is a non-turtle. GIDEON: No, not turtles, NON-TURTLES.... ME: I'm sorry, Gideon, I don't know what you mean. GIDEON: You know, non-turtle....likes to stay up at night? ME: .......NOCTURNAL? GIDEON: YEA! That's it! Are rats non-turtles?

24 Oct 2011 Time Travel AMILIA: Daddy, can people travel back in time? GIDEON: Pffffftttt... That's so silly. Of course people can't travel back in time. You need a time machine for that!

20 Oct 2011 Smurf "Amilia, you are so annoying, you're getting on my last SMURF!" -- Gideon, Age 4, to his big sister.

19 Oct 2011 Eye See Amilia drew this eye in art class today.

17 Oct 2011 Early to Rise "If teachers say it's important for kids to get a good night's sleep, then why do they start school so early?" --Amila, Age 9

16 Oct 2011 Meatball "Daddy, I have a booger the size of meatball stuck to the inside of my nose!" --Gideon, Age 4.

03 Oct 2011 DADD Dad's Against Daughter's Dating (Copyright & Creator Unknown)

04 Oct 2011 Imaginary Friend *Copyright Keaton Stoos 2010* http://keaton-stoos.deviantart.com/#/d35a81i

15 Oct 2011 Infant Loss and Rememberance Day Today, 15 October, is Infant Loss and Rememberance Day. If you are moved to do so, please light a candle and let it burn for 1 hour for Ezri Jadzia Galdiano--who died far too soon at 10.5 months old--or in honor of another child who left this life too soon. You can also light a virtual candle at http://ezri-galdiano.memory-of.com/. We will ALWAYS love, miss, and remeber you, Twinkles.

08 Oct 2011 Camping We went camping and it rained a bunch. The good news is we camped next to our old friends Craig Allen and his beautiful family. He was kind enough to create this photograph of us (Image by Craig Allen)

03 Oct 2011 Follow the Leader GIDEON'S FRIEND: Let's play follow the leader. GIDEON (AGE 4): OK. Follow me because I'm strong, brave, and handsome!

03 Oct 2011 The Most Interesting Baby in the World *Creator and Copyright Unknown*

02 Oct 2011
Something's Fishy

(We are at lunch)

KIM: Here sweetie, want to taste my shrimp?
ME: OK. (I take the shrimp, take a bite, start gagging, and have to spit it out) Oh, that shrimp is rotten! Why would you ask me to taste it?
KIM: I wanted to see if it was spoiled.

15 Sept 2011 Strong Man Kim asked Gideon to move some packages, and before moving them, he flexed his muscles and said, "I am strong, but never weak!"

14 Sept 2011 Ho-Ho-Ho Gideon became upset when I gave him half a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich instead of whole one like he wanted. He threw a fit and started yelling at the top of his lungs, "I want a whole! I want a whole! I want a whole!" Unfortunately, being 4, he can only pronounce the first syllable of the word whole. Let's just say he sounded like Santa, and I'm REALLY glad we weren't in public--or Deep Ellum.

01 Sept 2011 Farewell, Fair Friend I'm shocked and deeply saddended that my friend, Shawnda Corker, passed away this afternoon. She was such a sweet and beautiful young lady. Shawnda, please watch over Ezri until we get there. We will deeply miss you, My Friend!

01 Oct 2011 Flying Toasters (We just got home school and finished parking) ME: Okay, boys and girls, be sure take all your stuff out of my car. GIDEON (Age 4): Does that include flying toasters? ME: Huh? GIDEON: Do you want us to take out the flying toasters too? ME: Flying toasters? GIDEON: You know, those round shiney things that fly and have outer space people in them. This thing...(points to Amilia's art project) ME: Oh, flying saucers! GIDEON: Flying toasters, flying saucers, same thing.

30 Sept 2011
Homecoming Mums
When did Homecoming Mums become the size of serving platters? Back in my day, girls wore rocks on their homecoming dresses becuase God hadn't invented flowers yet.

26 Sept 2011
Vacuum
Mother Nature doesn't abhor a vacuum as much as my kids!

24 Sept 2011
Please Pack Your Knives, and Go.
Tonight for dinner, I served dry rubbed sirloin steak, roasted broccoli drizzled with olive oil, roasted Yukon gold potatoes simmered in beef stock, and homemade ranch dressing. After dinner, my kids said they were sorry, but while meal was tasty, it was still average, and that I would not be moving on to the next stage of the competition. Hhhhmmm....Maybe we've been watching too many cooking competitions on TV lately?

19 Sept 2011
Back-End Bubbles
Is it wrong to tell your kids that they shouldn't swallow gum because if they do, their backsides will blow bubbles when they toot?

13 Sept 2011 I Need a Smoke! ME: Gideon, your voice sounds terrible today. GIDEON (age 4): Yea, I need a smoke. ME: You need a smoke? GIDEON: Yea, you know, that tube with my asthma medicine that makes smoke. ME: Oh! You need your asthma inhaler! GIDEON: That's what I said. I need a smoke.

12 Sept 2011 Speed Racer "Daddy, let's race! I promise I'll take it easy on you!" --Gideon, Age 4.

06 Sept 2011 Want to Play a Game? AMILIA: Daddy, do you want to play a game? ME: Sure. AMILIA: OK, for this game, pretend you're intelligent... I'm not sure, but I think I've been insulted!

05 Sept 2011 A Gentleman & A Scholar (Gideon, 4-years-old, passes his sister and her friend their food before digging into his) ME: Gideon, I'm very impressed. You're quite the gentleman. GIDEON: I'm not a gentleman, I'm a kid! ME: A gentleman is just someone who has good manners. GIDEON: Oh! In that case, I'm not just a gentleman, I'm a smart gentleman!

01 Sept 2011 Enough Practice! While Daddy was taking this picture, I told him, "Daddy, when I get married, I'm going to ask if the photographer has children. If he says, 'Yes,' then I'm not going to hire him because I know what photographers put their children through by always practicing on them." Hmmmmm....maybe I've been practicing a tad to much on my children lately. But I really like this one.

01 Sept 2011 Night Time Image Daddy said he wanted to practice taking pictures at night. That's OK with me because I look good anytime!

01 Sept 2011 Practice Makes Perfect #1 Here, Dada is practicing taking pictures of me in full shade.

01 Sept 2011 Practice Makes Perfect #2 Now Dada is practicing taking my picture in full sun!

03 Sept 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (I'm testing my camera grear while Gideon is watching) GIDEON: Daddy, are you going to experience me? ME: Huh? GIDEON: You know, are you going to do tests on me? ME: Oh, experiment! Why would I do experiments on you? GIDEON: To find out why I'm so handsome, funny, smart, and all that. ME: Uh, sure! Why not? GIDEON: Sorry, you'll never figure that out, no matter how much you experience me. Truer words were never spoken.

02 Sept 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Daddy, can I have a "Lunchable" today? ME: No, Mommy says those are only for special occasions. GIDEON: But I AM a special occasion!

01 Sept 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Daddy, I want to be a policeman when I grow up! ME: That's nice. Are you going to help lots of people? GIDEON: What? No! I want to be a policeman so I can put people I don't like in jail!

28 August 2011 GIDEON-ISMS ME: Gideon, come here. I want to tell you a secret. GIDEON: Yea? (Puts his ear to my mouth) ME: (Wisper) You....are....so....HANDSOME! GIDEON: Phhhhhttt! That's no secret

23 August 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON (Age 4): Daddy, can I have a Popsicle? ME: No, you had an accident last night, and it might have been the Popsicle. GIDEON: Instead of no Popsicles, I think I should have a different flavor Popsicle every night until we find out if they all cause the same problem.

22 August 2011 Gig Em! Amilia's teacher looked a little fishy to me, so I had to show her Aggies Rule before going to daycare.

22 Aug 2011 Settled In I'm all settled in at my desk and ready for a new year of school!

22 August 2011 Before School #1 This is me before starting my first day of 4th grade!

22 Aug 2011 Before School #2 Gideon and I had to give each other a hug before heading off to school.

21August 2011 AMILIA-ISMS AMILIA: Daddy, what does primary mean? ME: It means "main." Like my primary insurance is my main insurance. AMILIA: COOL!!! That means I'm one of the main girls at my school this year!!! ME: Huh? AMILIA: On my class room door, there was a sign that said "Primary Girls," and my name was on it!

18 August 2011 Meet the Teacher Night I love Meet the Teacher Night. It's one of the last moments you can enjoy before hopes and illusions collide with reality.

16 August 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "She looks like one tough old lady!" Gideon, Age 4, commenting the photograph of Amilia's new 4th grade teacher. And no, we will not be sharing that comment with the teacher.

15 August 2011 AMILIA-ISMS AMILIA: Daddy, let's play hospital! You be the patient! GIDEON: Daddy's the patient, I'll be the doctor, and Sissy, you be the nurse! AMILIA: OK, but that means you just talk while I do all the work.

14 August 2011 AMILIA-ISMS ME: Amilia, brush your hair. AMILIA: But it hurts! ME: Brush it more often, and you won't have so many tangles. AMILIA: That doesn't work! Don't you remember what it's like to have long hair? (pause while she looks at my head)...Opps! Never mind. I guess you don't.

13 August 2011 AMILIA-ISMS (We're at the grocery store checking out.) AMILIA: Daddy, do you need to borrow some money to pay for that? ME: Uh, sure. AMILIA: Tsk, tsk, tsk....you're just like the goverment! (She's loaning me the money I gave her. She's just like China!)

12 August 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "I stay awake until I fall asleep." --Gideon, Age 4, Philosopher

11 August 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "I'm glad I'm a boy because when it's hot outside, I can come home, take off all my clothes, and play in my underwear. Girls can't do that." --Gideon, Age 4

10 August 2011 A Body In Motion I bet the scientist that observed, "A body in motion tends to stay in motion," wasn't at the gym at the time.

07 August 2011 AMILIA-ISMS "Daddy, I'm NOT a CHILD! I'm an ADULT in training!" --Amilia, Age 9

05 August 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Daddy, do you want to buy me a Slushie from Sonic or a snow cone today? I laughed so hard at Gideon using Parenting with Love and Logic on me, that I bought him a snow cone. I think Amy Potts Diehl, who taught our Love and Logic Institute, Inc. course, will find this just as funny too.

04 August 2011 GIDEON-ISMS ME: Gideon, do you think I love you or a giant ice cream sundae with chocolate syrup and sprinkles more? GIDEON (AGE 4): The giant ice cream sundae.... ME: No, Silly! I love you more! GIDEON: If I were you, I'd go for the sundae! ME: OK, do you think I love you or a million dollars more? GIDEON: The money. ME: Why would you think that I love money more than you? GIDEON: For a million dollars, you can buy me and the ice cream sundae!

01 August 2011 AMILIA-ISMS "Gideon switched my brain!" -- Amilia, age 9, explaining why she's misbehaving

31 July 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (Gideon was particularly mischievous this morning.) ME: My, my, my....What are we going to do with you, Gideon? GIDEON: Put me in Juvie?

16 July 2011 Billy Joel Sings Billy Joel sings, "She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe And she'll take what you give her as long it's free Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me... And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding... She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel...." Sorry to break it to you, Billy, but the woman you're sining about is a sociopath.

15 July 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "I don't want chicken noodle soup for dinner. I want a MAN'S SOUP!" --Gideon, Age 4, telling us his preference for Campbell's Chunky Soup.

12 July 2011 AMILIA-ISMS AMILIA: Daddy, do you need a yelling aid? ME: Huh? AMILIA: (LOUDER) Do you need a yelling aid? ME: What's that? AMILIA: You know, the thing you put in your ear to hear better so people don't have to yell? ME: A Hearing aid? AMILIA: Yea! Do you need one of those? ME: No. Why would I need a hearing aide? AMILIA: Because whenever we ask you a question, we always have to repeat it.

10 July 2011 GIDEON-ISMS AMILIA: Who are we going to eat with? ME: Someone from church, but you don't know them. GIDEON: I know EVERYONE at church! AMILIA: You do, huh? OK, name them. GIDEON: That's easy! God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit! Well, at least he knows the most important members anyway.

22 August 2011 Before School #1 This is me before starting my first day of 4th grade!

22 Aug 2011 Before School #2 Gideon and I had to give each other a hug before heading off to school.

Aug 2011 Happy Birthday, Amilia! Happy birthday, Amilia! And special thanks to Miss Ann for making the "Happy Cake".

08 July 2011 Wiggles Concert We went to watch the Wiggles today! It was great, except Jeff was having a pacemaker put in. Get well, Jeff!

08 July 2011 Chick-Fil-A Cows After the Wiggles concert, we got to enjoy some Chick-Fil-A with friends! MOOOOOOOOO!

07 July 2011 AMILIA-ISMS (Amilia is carrying on about a small finger blister) ME: Amilia, you're a drama queen. AMILIA: No I'm not! I'm just good at acting!

03 July 2011 Horse Back Riding Amilia enjoys horse back riding when visitin Paw-paw.

03 July 2011 Gideon at Paw Paw's This is one of my favorite images of Gideon that I created while visiting his paw-paw.

02 July 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Daddy, pretend this is a store. Hello, sir. What can I get for you? ME: I'd like a litte boy who behaves for the rest of the day. GIDEON: Sorry, sir. We don't carry that.

30 June 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (We're at the store after swimming and it's a little chilly inside) AMILIA: Daddy, I'm freezing! It's so cold in here! I'm going to freeze to death! ME: Uh-huh. AMILIA: I've never been so cold in all my life! I need to heat up as soon as possible! Do you khow what 3 things I'm going to do as soon as I get home? GIDEON: Stop. Drop. And roll?

30 June 2011 Percy Sledge Sings Percy Sledge sings when a man loves a woman, "He'd give up all his comfort, Sleep out in the rain, If she said that's the way it ought to be..." I say if a woman says that, it's time to love another woman.

26 June 2011 Parenting Hall of Fame My daughter's favorite TV show is Star Trek. My son's favorite movies are the Star Wars trilogy. Both want to Texas A&M. I think I should retire now and accept my nomination into the parenting hall of fame.

26 June 2011 AMILIA-ISMS Tonight, Amilia told me that I don't have a choice, and that I will be her roommate in college when she goes to Texas A&M. My master brain washing plan is right on schedule!

23June 2011 GIDEON-ISMS AMILIA: Gideon, what do you think of my new braids? GIDEON: What new braids? You don't have any briads. AMILIA: Yes, I do. These are braids. GIDEON: Those aren't braids, those are pony tails. AMILIA: No, these are braids. GIDEON: No, they're not! Braids are what go on your teeth!

19 June 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (Report from Gideon's Sunday School teacher) TEACHER: Good job answering those questions. GIDEON: That's because I have brain power. Also, he told his teacher his nickname is Flash.

18 June 2011 Daddy Daughter Date Daddy Daughter Date at Chick-FIL-A.

18 June 2011 GIDEON-ISMS ME: Gideon, how come you're so handsome, smart, strong, sweet, artistic, fast, good at sports, and so good at everything? GIDEON: I don't know. God just made me that way. ME: Yea, I guess so. GIDEON: Daddy? ME: Yes? GIDEON: How come God didn't make you that way too? As a "friend" said: God had to make some people to cheer for the handsome, smart, strong, athletic, and talented people.

15 June 2011 Funny Face Gideon makes a funny face.

15 June 2011 Fasionistas The Amilia and Rachel show off their chic new eye color.

11 June 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (I'm talking to Kim about a woody area near our home that I may use for a future portrait session) GIDEON: Daddy, if you see a bear, take a picture of him for me. ME: Gideon, if a bear saw me, what do you think he would do to me? GIDEON: Scratch you with his claws and eat you up. ME: Right! So why would I stay around and take a picture of him? GIDEON: Because it would be a really cool picture! I'm just grateful he didn't slather me in honey and shove me out the car door.

10 June 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (Pest contol guy is spraying around the house while we're working in the yard) GIDEON: What are you doing? PEST CONTROL GUY: (Trying to impress Gideon) I'm spraying a chemical compond called Fipronil to exterminate Solenopsis invicta. GIDEON. Oh..... Why didn't you just say you were killing ants? That 4-year-old little guy never ceases to crack me up and amaze me.

19 May 2011 Carnival! My school had a carnival, and my daddy took the pictures! That's why he's not in this one.

14 May 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (Gideon takes a huge bite of a hamburger) GIDEON: Mmmmmmffff...hummmfffff...ummmhhhfffff.. ME: Gideon, I can't understand you. Please wait until your mouth isn't full to talk. GIDEON: (Gestures wildly and urgently) MMMMMMFFFF! HUUUUFFFFF! UMMMHHHFFFFFF! ME: Gideon, if you have something important to say that can't wait, then you'll have to spit your food out because I can't understand you when you mouth is full. (Gideon spits out huge gobs of chewed up food in three stages until he finally gets it all out) ME: Now what was so urgent? GIDEON: I was trying to tell you my mouth was too full to talk!

14 May 2011 AMILIA-ISMS (Piping hot homemade cornbread just came out of the oven) ME: MMMMMMMMMMMMM......Look at that beautiful cornbread....Doesn't it look and smell delicious? AMILIA: I know how it could be even better. ME: How? AMILIA: If it was Banana Bread! She's got me there!

07 May 2011 GIDEON-ISMS ME: Gideon, why don't you try swinging on the moneky bars? GIDEON: What? I don't have any monkey skills yet! ME: Yes you do. You're part monkey. Just try. GIDEON: What? I didn't know I was half monkey! OK, I'll try. (Gets on monkey bars, hangs for a few seconds, then falls to the ground) GIDEON: (Looks disappointed as he dusts himself off) Tsk...Tsk...Tsk.... I didn't feel it in here (points to heart). I guess he was paying attention during the movie RIO after all.

05 May 2011 Rock Climbing Amilia was a natural at rock climbing, which is proof of my theory that she is part mountain goat.

05 May 2011 Gideon vs Brownie Batter Gideon thoroughly enjoyed licking the bowl after Amlia made brownies for Sara's birthday!

27 April 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (Gideon keeps testing his new camping flashlight over and over...) ME: Gideon, please quit flashing that flashlight. GIDEON: I can't. I'm talking to my friends! ME: What friends? GIDEON: The fireflies! I love that kid!

26 April 2011 GIDEON-ISMS ME: Gideon, can you please put up your shoes? GIDEON: Youse talking to me? Youse talking to me? Youse must be talking to me because I don't see anyone else around here... ME: Gideon where did you learn that (and secretly making plans to find a new baby sitter) GIDEON: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The squeakel.

25 April 2011 GIDEON-ISMS ME: Gideon, where's my kissy? GIDEON: It's in the mail.

15 April 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Daddy, do you know what black booty is? ME: (Scared and very cautious) Uhhhmmmmmm.....nooooo...... GIDEON: What? Everyone knows what black booty is! Do you want to know? ME: (Still cautious) Uhhhhhh.... sure..... GIDEON: It's a horsie! You don't know how relieved I am at that answer.

12 April 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (Gideon is in the backseat of the car as we pull into the gym parking lot.) GIDEON: Daddy! Look! It's Joshua's car! Joshua's here! ME: Oh? GIDEON: We're going to have so much fun playing together! ME: That's nice. GIDEON: I'm so excited that Joshua's here. ME: That's great. GIDEON: Daddy? ME: Yes? GIDEON: Who's Joshua?

09 April 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Oh, hello there good looking! How are you? GIDEON: Why are you copying me? GIDEON: Stop copying me! GIDEON: STOP IT!!! I MEAN IT!!! GIDEON: Now you're making faces at me? OK, you're asking for it! GIDEON: That's the last straw! You're gonna get it now! ME: Gideon, who are you talking to? GIDEON: The Gideon in the mirror.... "I have met the enemey, and he is us." -- Walt Kelly 1970, Pogo Cartoon

07 April 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "Hey, Slowpoke, can you move any faster?" --Gideon, age 4, to the Kroger cashier

05 April 2011 AMILIA-ISMS AMILIA: Daddy, why can't men admit they lust? ME: (Shocked) Huh? AMILIA: Why can't men admit they lust? ME: (Very cautious) Where do you hear that? AMILIA: All girls know that. ME: (Very cautious) They do, huh? AMILIA: Yea, that's why they don't stop and ask for direction. ME: (VERY RELIEVED) Yea, you're right Sweetie, men don't like to admit when they're lost. AMILIA: (Very smug) Yea, I knew it.

04 April 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "When you die, you have to be still and not do anything for a REALLY LONG TIME....Like maybe 100 weeks." --Gideon, age 4.

04 April 2011 GIDEON-ISMS Fong Sung Juan Ryan Bubba Bubbie Ryan Red Hawikins Super Boy Shockinator BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIGHT! Super Mario Eyeballs Gideon's list of acceptable nicknames we may call him

01 April 2011 GIDEON-ISMS (While I was looking at the ingredient list on a package Target, Gideon took off running and bumped into a man.) ME: Gideon, watch where you're going. You just ran into that poor man! GIDEON: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know he was poor. Is he hungry? Does he need money? As much as that made us laugh, Gideon still had to hold on to the cart for the rest of the shopping trip.

29 March 2011> AMILIA-ISMS (Amilia is whining about doing homework--again--and wearing a Sonic bag over her head in protest.) AMILIA: Daddy, you're making me use both sides of my brain! And that's a bad thing!!! She then started poking eye holes in the Sonic bag with a pencil whle wearing it. Why does a line from "A Christmas Story" come to mind?

29 March 2011 AMILIA-ISMS AMILIA: Daddy, I'm a genius and easily bored. That's why I don't like doing homework. ME: Make all A's from now until the end of the school, and I'll ask them to put you in 5th grade next year. AMILIA: What? I'm not ready for 5th grade! ME: That shouldn't be a problem for a genius like you. AMILIA: True, but I don't want to leave my friends behind. I think she lost the genius argument when she wore a Sonic bag over her head and poked eye holes in it with a pencil--while wearing it.

29 March 2011 AMILIA-ISMS (Amilia and her friend are talking about Minnesota.) ME: Did you know if you say gullible really slow, it sounds like Minnesota? AMILIA & FRIEND: Really? Guull....ill....buull.....We don't hear it..... ME: You have to say it really, really, slow...... AMILIA & FRIEND: GUUULLL.....ILLL.....BUUULLL...... AMILIA & FRIEND: We still don't hear it.... ME: You have to say it extra, super duper slow..... AMILIA & FRIEND: GUUUUUULLLLLL.....ILLLLLL...BULLLLLL... ME: (Trying to hide my laughter) KIM: (Matter of factly) You're paying for her therapy.

27 March 2011 AMILIA-ISMS AMILIA: Daddy, Are you suckoling? ME: Huh? AMILIA: Are you suckoling? ME: What does that mean? AMILIA: I don't know. The sign on that door back there says, "No Suckoling." ME: (Long Pause)....No soliciting? AMILIA: Huh? What's that mean?

27 March 2011 AMILIA-ISMS (I see Amilia's silver birth certificate holder on the floor) ME: Amilia, why is your birth certificate holder on the floor? AMILIA: Gideon was playing with it. ME: Is your birth certificate still in there? AMILIA: No, Gideon lost it. ME: Oh-oh! I hope you find it soon! AMILIA: Why? Will we be in trouble if we don't? ME: Uhmmm....no....but if you don't find your birth certificate, it means you were never offically born. AMILIA: (Suspecious) Really? ME: Oh, yea....It'll be like you never existed AMILIA: (BURSTS INTO TEARS) I DON"T WANT TO DIE!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

26 March 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Can I write something of Facebook since Sissy did? ME: Sure. Gideon starts typing: ?147ewqsazkhgfd43219876bytygtuyuyuyjtrwqav,jl;bgkvnghnjppyg. ME: What are you writing? GIDEON: How should I know? I haven't finished writing it yet!

26 March 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Here you go, Daddy, I wrote you a note! (Hands me a piece of paper with highlighter scribbled on it) ME: Oh, thank you, Gideon. GIDEON: Do you want me to read it to you? ME: Sure! GIDEON: Dear Daddy, I love you matter what.... Even when you die. Heart warming, isn't it?

25 Mar 2011 Twins Amilia and Rachel were in the same class at school and called themselves twins. Amilia was very sad when her best friend moved across town, so we invited her and her family to the circus with us.

25 Mar 2011 Bat-Gideon Gideon loves Batman and had is face painted with a bat while we were at the circus.

25 March 2011 AMILIA-ISMS AMILIA: Daddy, when you get older, are you going to get Orbies? ME: What's Orbies? AMILIA: You know that disease old people get, when they get old and fat? ME: I've never heard of that before. AMILIA: They talked about it on "The Biggest Loser." ME: (LONG PAUSE) OH! OBESE! AMILIA: Naw, I prefet to call it Orbies. And I think you are going to have it.

25 March 2011 Super Gideon Gideon is keeping a sharp eye out for evil doers, and free candy!

03 Mar 2011 Babes After stuffing ourselves at Babe's Fried Chicken, the kids and Amy did some modeling for us. I guess they're "Babes" too.

18 Mar 2011 Pretty Dress We went to the Dallas Arboretum with the Murrells and Amilia wore her pretty summer dress that maw-maw made for her.

18 Mar 2011 Gideon and Amy Then Gideon and Amy in 2009.

18 Mar 2011 Gideon and Amy Now Gideon and Amy in 2011.

18 Mar 2011 Gideon and Sara This Gideon's other girlfriend, Sara.

18 Mar 2011 Amilia and Sara Amilia loved visiting with the Merlins too.

02 March 2011 AMILIA-ISMS ME: Amilia, why did you write 6x6 = 18 on this assigment? AMILIA: Because I was I was so tired, I only had the energy to do half the problem. If she put half as much energy into doing her assignments as she did avoiding them, she'd have a full scholarship to Cambridge by now.

01 March 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Daddy. what does flush mean? ME: Like when you flush the toilet? GIDEON: No, the other kind of flush. ME: What other kind of flush? GIDEON: The TV said Coke is flushing. ME: (Thinks for a few seconds) OH! refreshing! GIDEON: Yea! What does refreshing mean? ME: It's how you feel when you have something cold on a hot day. GIDEON: Oh...like ice cream!

28 Feb. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS AMILIA: The Merlins are coming! The Merlins are coming! ME: Huh? AMILIA: You know, the Merlins, from the Philippines. Sara and Amy! ME: Oh, the Murrells! AMILIA: Yea! The Murrells are coming! The Murrells are coming!

14 Feb. 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "Ewwwwww,,,,,! My feet are REALLY STINKY! Do you want to smell them, Daddy?" --Gideon, Age 4.

11 Feb. 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "I'm not a smarty pants. I'm just smart!" --Gideon, age 4

17 Feb. 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Sissy, I'm going to give you a piece of my mind! ME: Gideon, we only talk nice to each other. GIDEON: What? I was! My mind is very sweet!

09 Feb. 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "I'm half ninja, half cheetah, and half boy!" --Gideon, Age 4. No wonder we can't keep up with him; he's 1.5 boys!

08 Feb. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS (The TAKS test is a huge deal for students every year) AMILIA: Daddy, when are you taking the TAKS test? ME: Huh? I don't have to take the TAKS test. AMILIA: Yes you do. Mommy said. ME: I have no idea what she's talking about. AMILIA: She said you have to do TAKS every year in April. ME: (Long Pause) OH! TAXES! Yes, we have to pay Taxes every year in April. AMILIA: I told you so.... Daddy, what are Taxes?

05 Feb. 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "Daddy, my tummy is crying because it wants breakfast." --Gideon, Age 4 explaining why his stomach is growling.

04 Feb. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS ME: Amilia, If I give you $5 on Monday and half that on Tuesday, what would you have? AMILIA: A WONDERFUL Daddy!!!

03 Feb. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS ME: Amilia, you need to practice math, reading, and spelling today. AMILIA: (Whining) What? How come? ME: Because you've been out of school for 3 days and we don't want you to forget what you've learned. AMILIA: I won't forget! I was learned by some good teachers! Note to Self: Add vocabulary to the list.

02 Feb. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS "Daddy, don't argue with me because I usually always win." --Amilia, Age 8

01 Feb. 2011 GIDEON-ISMS AMILIA: Gideon, pretend you're sick and I'm the doctor. GIDEON: OK....Ribbit!!!....Ribitt!!!....Ribbit!!!... AMILIA: What's wrong with you? GIDEON: I have a frog in my throat!

31 Jan. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS AMILIA: Daddy, let's pretend you're the police and someone robbed me. ME: OK. AMILIA: Help! Police! Help! Help! ME: Yes? AMILIA: Someone broke into my back yard and robbed me! I even bought an expensive fence to keep them out! ME: My goodness! What did they steal? AMILIA: My fence! If I believed in reincarnation, I'd say my kids were comedy writers in a former life.

28 Jan 2011 GIDEON-ISMS "There's no place but first place" --Gideon, Age 4 Gideon must have been channeling Vince Lombardi or Henry Russell Sanders for that quote.

25 Jan. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS AMILIA: Daddy, pretend that you're listening the radio, but I'll be the radio. ME: OK. *CLICK* AMILIA: Hello! Do you need to lose weight? Call 666-666-6666 now for more information on our weight loss program! ME: Hmmmmm.... I don't like this program. I think I'll turn the radio off. *CLICK* AMILIA: Daddy, do you want me to call the number... for you? If I was overweight, I'd be a little self-conscious right

27 Jan. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS "My cerebellum is malfunctioning." --Amilia, Age 8

23 Jan. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS ME: Amilia, you've been in the bathroom 30 minutes. What are you doing in there? AMILIA: I'm looking at myself in the mirror! ME: Why? AMILIA: Do the math. Don't you know girls are suppose to admire themselves in the mirror 30 minutes every day? I must confess, I didn't know that rule.

19 Jan. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS MOMMY: Amilia, why didn't you do better on your spelling test? AMILIA: There was too much pressure! MOMMY: Why was there too much pressure? AMILIA: The teacher wanted me to spell the words right!

18 Jan 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Daddy, I need some Irish Cream! ME: You need what? GIDEON: I need some Irish Cream! ME: Why do you need Irish Cream? GIDEON: Because I got mud on my pants! ME: And why do you need Irish Cream for that? GIDEON: Because the TV says, "Irish Cream gets the stains out!" ME: ..........Oohhhhhhh!...... OXICLEAN!!! GIDEON: Yea! That's what I said! Irish Cream!

17 Jan. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS ME: Amilia, ask Gary if he'd like to donate some girl scout cookies to the soldiers or if he's a communist. AMILIA: Mr. Cochran, would you like to buy some girl scout cookies for the soldiers or are you an anonymous? GARY: I guess I'm an anonymous. AMILIA: Daddy, he says he an anonymous..... What does anonymous mean? ME: Not anonymous, Sweetie, COM-MU-NIST AMILIA: OH!....Communist!......Daddy, what's a communist?

15 Jan 2011 GIDEON-ISMS GIDEON: Daddy, can I please eat a kitty cat? ME: HUH? GIDEON: Can I PLEASE eat a kitty cat? ME: You want to eat a kitty cat? GIDEON: Yes, there delicious! Can I PLEASE eat a kitty cat? .AMILIA: KITKATS, Gideon! They're called KITKATS!

11 Jan. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS ME: Amilia, you should do your best at everything instead of rushing just to finish things as fast as possible. You won't even find a job as a dishwasher unless you do a good job. AMILIA: Yes, I will. I've seen restaurants serve food to people on dirty plates!

22 Jan 2011 Modeling Rates After seeing these photographs of herself, Amilia raised her modeling rates from $1 a session to $2 a session plus an ice cream cone.

22 Jan 2011 Go Gideon! Gideon is photogenic too!

20 Jan 2011 Learning About Fractions Amilia wasn't too excited about her school's math and science night, so she decide to teach herself fractions by eating a cookie.

20 Jan 2011 Einstein Gideon Maybe it's just the aura of math and science night talking, but doesn't Gideon look a little like a young Albert Einstein?

09 Jan 2011 Snow Day We didn't get the snow in time for a White Christmas, but better late than never!

09 Jan 2011 Snow Princess Amilia loves playing in the snow, but she took time out of her busy schedule to let Daddy photograph her.

08 Jan. 2011 AMILIA-ISMS (Working with Amilia on division) ME: Amilia, if you have 24 cents and you give half to Gideon, how much money do you have left? AMILIA: (Thinks really hard) Uuhhhmmmm.....24 cents! ME: Sorry, that's not the right answer. AMILIA: Yes it is. You're crazy if you think I'd give Gideon half my money!

07 Jan 2011 GIDEON-ISMS ME: Gideon, can I have my morning hug and kiss? GIDEON: Not right now, Dada. I have to get ready to save the world.

04 Jan 2010 An Amilia & Gideon Moment I offered to take my kids to Sonic for 1/2 price burger night, but they said they'd rather eat something healthy at home. I'm proud of them, but now I have to invest in some paternity DNA testing kits.